Immortal Beloved
The Letter
The Letter
July 6, in the morning.
My angel, my all, my very self- Only a few words today and at that
with pencil (with yours)- Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely
determined upon- what a useless waste of time- Why this deep sorrow when
necessity speaks- can our love endure except through sacrifices, through
not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that
you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine- Oh God, look out into the
beauties of nature and comfort yourself with that which must be- Love
demands everything and that very justly- thus it is to me with you,
and to you with me. If only you do not forget that I must live for
me and you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as
little as I- My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4
o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another
route but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not
to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me
the more eager- and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the
wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had
with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the
usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four-
Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully
overcome difficulties- Now a quick change to things internal from things
external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot
share with you the thoughts I have had during the last few days touching my
own life- If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of
these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you- ah - there are
moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all- Cheer up- remain
true, my only love, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest,
what for us must and shall be-
Your faithful Ludwig
Evening, Monday, July 6.
You are suffering, my dearest creature- Just now I learned that
letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays- or on
Thursdays- the only days on which the mail-coach goes from here to K.- You
are suffering- Ah, wherever I am, there you are also- I will arrange it
with you and me that I can live with you. What a life!!!!thus!!!!without
you- pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and tither- which I as
little want to deserve as I deserve it- Humility of man towards man- it
pains me- and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I
and what is he- whom we call the greatest- and yet- herein lies the divine
in man- I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first
report from me until Saturday- Much as you love me- I love you more- But
do not ever conceal yourself from me- good night- As I am taking the baths
I must go to bed- Oh God- so near! so far! Is not our love truly a
heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of Heaven?-
Good morning, on July 7.
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved,
now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate
will hear us- I can live only wholly with you or not at all- Yes, I am
resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and
say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in
you into the land of spirits- Yes, unhappily it must be so- You will be
more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever
possess my heart- never- never- Oh God, why must one be parted from one
whom one so loves. And yet my life in Vienna is now a wretched life- Your
love makes me at once the happiest and unhappiest of men- At my age I need
a steady, quiet life- can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have
just been told that the mail-coach goes every day- and I must close at
once so that you may receive the letter at once.- Be calm, only by a calm
consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together-
Be calm- love me- today- yesterday- what tearful longings for you- you -
you- my life- my all- farewell.- Oh continue to love me- never misjudge
the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours
L.